i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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