Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
