ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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