I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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