i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
