After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Drunk is not a location!
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
