It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
