Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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