I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Gay?
German.
Pity.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
