is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
