I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
