Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
