He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
