If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Randomize
