What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Randomize
