You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
