New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Randomize
