i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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