I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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