I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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