would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
