I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
