when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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