I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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