you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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