You made me cry and you don't even care
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
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