i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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