plz talk dirty to me
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
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