Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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