I just made out with a guy for $7.
her vagine was all disorganized.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
