why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
