The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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