If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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