Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
