you turned your livingroom into a bong?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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