Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Randomize
