You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
