taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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