Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
