I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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