also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
