he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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