nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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