I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
