do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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