Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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