i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
