Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
