wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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