So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
