Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Do vagina's smell?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
So squirting runs in the family.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
