Nicole vs. Life
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
