Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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